I really try not to "bitch"
about my family problems. Maybe it’s not actually "family" problems more than
"my" own problems!
about my family problems. Maybe it’s not actually "family" problems more than
"my" own problems!
My life has become consumed
with "doing" for others (namely my clients and that’s my job)……but also my
Mom. Now this doesn’t bother me, even if she does need more help from her
family then most people her age. But maybe not…….maybe I just think so.
She’ll be 80 the end of this month and has more things wrong with her than
anyone her age or younger should have to experience…….all at the same
time!
with "doing" for others (namely my clients and that’s my job)……but also my
Mom. Now this doesn’t bother me, even if she does need more help from her
family then most people her age. But maybe not…….maybe I just think so.
She’ll be 80 the end of this month and has more things wrong with her than
anyone her age or younger should have to experience…….all at the same
time!
You know she broke her hip
last August and was diagnosed with Lung Cancer last May. Along with that she is
a Type 2 Diabetic, has a really screwed up back (she has one of those humps, not
huge, but there) consisting of crushed vertebrae and such, a not-so-good ticker
(triple by-pass in 2001), neuropathy in her feet (constant pain to the point her
feet are sort of numb but she can stand) and she had Cellulitis while in re-hab
from the broken hip which has cleared (so they say) and now she has something
called Lymphedema which has her legs so swollen it hurts me to look at
them.
last August and was diagnosed with Lung Cancer last May. Along with that she is
a Type 2 Diabetic, has a really screwed up back (she has one of those humps, not
huge, but there) consisting of crushed vertebrae and such, a not-so-good ticker
(triple by-pass in 2001), neuropathy in her feet (constant pain to the point her
feet are sort of numb but she can stand) and she had Cellulitis while in re-hab
from the broken hip which has cleared (so they say) and now she has something
called Lymphedema which has her legs so swollen it hurts me to look at
them.
She had the RFA (radio
frequency ablation) done but her 6 month PET Scan showed that the cancer was
back. We have decided to use Radiation this time. She has her first treatment
tomorrow. Her cancer is in the First Stage and the tumor is small. Lots of hope
for the radiation treatments getting this tumor.
frequency ablation) done but her 6 month PET Scan showed that the cancer was
back. We have decided to use Radiation this time. She has her first treatment
tomorrow. Her cancer is in the First Stage and the tumor is small. Lots of hope
for the radiation treatments getting this tumor.
Now that you know all of
this I will get to my point……the part where I "bitch"!
this I will get to my point……the part where I "bitch"!
My brother and myself have
taken her to every doctors appointment. Took turns visiting her in the hospital
and re-hab. My brother even had her stay with him for 2 weeks before she went
back to her apartment. We pick-up her prescriptions. Get what she needs from
Walmart (personal stuff) and what ever else comes up. I have rearranged my
schedule and even worked Saturdays to take my Mom to an appointment during the
week. My brother has done the same.
taken her to every doctors appointment. Took turns visiting her in the hospital
and re-hab. My brother even had her stay with him for 2 weeks before she went
back to her apartment. We pick-up her prescriptions. Get what she needs from
Walmart (personal stuff) and what ever else comes up. I have rearranged my
schedule and even worked Saturdays to take my Mom to an appointment during the
week. My brother has done the same.
We asked our sister to do
Moms grocery shopping once a week. That’s it……that’s all. Out of the past 6
weeks or less that she’s suppose to do this she has asked me twice to do it. Now
she has said that she’s just too busy and will look into hiring
someone to do the shopping! Too busy? She’s a stay-at-home mom…..all 3 girls
are in school all day…..they are 9, 10 & 11 and can do many things for
themselves…….she rarely has a clean house or laundry all done and she
doesn’t go to a "job" every day!!!! I know, being a mom and wife is a
job……for most……not my sister because her life is consumed with Girls
Scouts and anything else she can get involved in that will make her look good to
all the other parents at the school. Really, I’m not kidding. As far as her own
Mother, sister or brother are concerned, we are of no concern.
Moms grocery shopping once a week. That’s it……that’s all. Out of the past 6
weeks or less that she’s suppose to do this she has asked me twice to do it. Now
she has said that she’s just too busy and will look into hiring
someone to do the shopping! Too busy? She’s a stay-at-home mom…..all 3 girls
are in school all day…..they are 9, 10 & 11 and can do many things for
themselves…….she rarely has a clean house or laundry all done and she
doesn’t go to a "job" every day!!!! I know, being a mom and wife is a
job……for most……not my sister because her life is consumed with Girls
Scouts and anything else she can get involved in that will make her look good to
all the other parents at the school. Really, I’m not kidding. As far as her own
Mother, sister or brother are concerned, we are of no concern.
So……this has eaten away
at me and I really don’t know what to do. I can’t talk to her anymore because
she actually makes me sick…..mentally mostly. That’s not a good thing for me.
I "stew" on the way she has no feelings or thoughts about how she treats her own
Mother. She didn’t even know Mom was going to start Radiation until I took Mom
for her second appointment for the "set-up" on the machine. I can’t talk to her
because she justifies everything she does, or doesn’t do, in some way. She
really thinks she’s in the right! And no……it’s not her way of "dealing" with
things. She hardly knows what "things" are going on with Mom. I feel so bad for
my Mom.
at me and I really don’t know what to do. I can’t talk to her anymore because
she actually makes me sick…..mentally mostly. That’s not a good thing for me.
I "stew" on the way she has no feelings or thoughts about how she treats her own
Mother. She didn’t even know Mom was going to start Radiation until I took Mom
for her second appointment for the "set-up" on the machine. I can’t talk to her
because she justifies everything she does, or doesn’t do, in some way. She
really thinks she’s in the right! And no……it’s not her way of "dealing" with
things. She hardly knows what "things" are going on with Mom. I feel so bad for
my Mom.
But I do know that "what
goes around comes around" and my sister is setting the example for her own girls
right now and I’m sure she doesn’t even realize it. I truly believe that at some
point in her life she will be treated the same and I have to tell you, I’m
totally okay with that!
I’m sorry, but she’s been approached by family to
make amends with her Mother before she no longer can. She doesn’t do it…..she
doesn’t help…..she leaves everything to my brother and myself. That’s okay, I
just hate that my Mom knows about all of this.
goes around comes around" and my sister is setting the example for her own girls
right now and I’m sure she doesn’t even realize it. I truly believe that at some
point in her life she will be treated the same and I have to tell you, I’m
totally okay with that!
I’m sorry, but she’s been approached by family tomake amends with her Mother before she no longer can. She doesn’t do it…..she
doesn’t help…..she leaves everything to my brother and myself. That’s okay, I
just hate that my Mom knows about all of this.
Okay……big breath
out…….I feel somewhat better now.
out…….I feel somewhat better now.
Thanks for listening…..if
you didn’t leave after the second paragraph! LOL
you didn’t leave after the second paragraph! LOL
One more thing…..I went to that other "Blogging" Place to try it out…. http://keepsitsimple.blogspot.com/
Colleen 
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You know, she\’ll never "get it" from someone else telling her. You\’ll just have to let nature take it\’s course..Just let it go.. you can\’t change her. Just be content that YOU are doing all you can for your mom.. Your mom raised her, this is probably no surprise to her.. most moms know their kids pretty well. You can\’t change someone else, you can only answer for your own behaviour.. so just let it go, and you and your brother take care of things. Like you said, what goes around comes around.. she\’ll get hers back..hugs,Jean
Hello Colleen,My name is Beth, and I am stopping by from Lee\’s. I was trying to catch up with Lee, and get into the wealth of diamonds in his blogs, and then I notice a link, and here I am. After this little detour I will head back…lol.Being an only child, I don\’t have the joys or tribulations of having siblings. There are times I think I have missed something special by not having them and, other times, when I read things like this, that I am glad I don\’t.I think along the same lines as Jean…believing your mother knows her daughter (your sister) and isn\’t exactly surprised at her response. From observing friends with siblings, wondering what I would do in the same circumstance, and dealing with similar situations on a workplace level, peace comes when I throw away the "What others are doing compared to what I am doing" score pad. (Yes, I know it has to be worse and run deeper when it is family.)You will never have regrets for "doing the right thing"…especially if it is done out of love for your mother…which is why it would be right to begin with…and you concentrate on that. You will be able to look back with a measure of peace, and joy at discovering your mother in a way you never knew, which is its own reward, and one you will be able to reflect back on with bittersweet joy and one your sister will not have… unless she comes to herself…which I hope she does…for her own sake. I leave you with a virtual hug of appreciation, a prayer for your mother, yourself, and your brother, and I hope you don\’t mind that. May God bless you… dear lady…as you do what you can.
Colleen,all girl\’s video has opened in http://girl.filefund.com/video914347