And so it goes…..

This week I found out that an ex-boyfriend had
died.

 

It was a very casual question, more or less, in an
email from a friend back in Arizona. She had asked if I remembered "so & so"
and that he died in September. I just sat there looking at that sentence. Just
one sentence and then she went on with the rest of the email.

 

I think I was in a mild form of shock……more
because of the casual statement really then of his passing.

 

Do you think that’s cold? It’s not. Do you know
why? Because I knew it would happen. I knew he would die before he should. But
then again, what is the "right" time to die?

 

If you know me you know I believe in
"Signs"……not the ones you see on the road, but really the ones you feel or
maybe have in a dream. You see I had a dream, couldn’t tell you exactly when,
and Jim was in it. It surprised me because I hadn’t thought about him in a very
long time. We were together when I was around 21, I’m more than twice that age
now! But we had been in contact since then more or less by chance meetings
and such. But I haven’t talked to him since before I moved so I would say around
7 years or more now.

 

Anyway, I wish now I had made an effort to see how
he and his family were when I had that dream. It was a family of 4 boys and a
Mom and Dad that were great. Jim and I just weren’t meant to be. Maybe I was too
young, probably , but I am glad we met. It’s not always the "one" person you are
with, but all the others you may never have met.

 

Another sad thing was that while trying to find out
more about Jim I came across another Obituary for his brother who had died this
past July from cancer. I couldn’t believe that he died….I actually thought
that my friend had it wrong and it was not Jim. But both had passed…..survived
by their Mother and two brothers. I again had a sadness for a mother who had to
not only bury her husband, but also two sons.

 

I have these types of dreams……and never acted
on them. Like everyone else I pretty much forgot my dream as fast as I had it.
But the remembrance of "who" was in it always stays with me, especially when I
haven’t talked to or seen that person, much less thought about, in many years. I
always wonder "why" was that person in my dream?

 

So I’ve decided to act on these "Signs" in the
future. How? I’m not sure. But if it could be as simple as writing a letter I’ll
do it.

 

Have a Happy Thanksgiving everyone…..be thankful
for all that you have and for all the people in your life.

Each comes for a reason……..

 

Hugs,

Colleen 

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